Losing Focus
by Migalouch
Summary: Kate only has eyes for her boyfriend leaving Castle out to dry. How does Castle react and does Kate realize what she is doing?
1. Ignorance

My first foray into the realm of Castle if you don't like it or if characters are not to your liking tough. This is a slight AU/Potential future fic for the upcoming episodes involving Beckett's boyfriend. There will be a second part and this is really just an idea that popped into my head. I got tired of seeing Castle always being the person beat up on so I decided to turn the tables. I did not have this betaed so any mistakes are mine and mine alone. I hope everyone enjoys!

I do not own any of the characters of Castle nor anything related to the show.

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It had all began with Kate's introduction to Detective Tom Demming, their mutual attraction, and his subsequent partnering with their team for a duration of a case. Castle had to admit Tom was a nice guy, no question about it, he was charismatic, good at his job, great track record, all in all a guy everyone could be friends with. Honestly, while it was a bit of a sting to see Kate give in to Tom's charm while avoiding his like the plague he didn't even feel much jealousy over the two of them possibly being together. There was really only one problem with the entire situation that really irked Castle, and that was how he was finding himself quickly becoming the new fifth wheel during the investigation.

What did that mean? Well it was becoming glaringly obvious, to himself at least, that his once prominent and valued place as a member of the team was slowly eroding out from underneath him. Ryan and Esposito, who he designated as two of his close friends, still treated him the same ribbing, making jokes, and feeding the birds with him. However, he knew he would never really be a part of their crime solving partnership nor did he want to get in the way of their tandem, frankly it made them great and he knew from day one he could help compliment but never be a part of what they had.

No his problem currently were with Beckett and Detective Tom Terrific and how he had conveniently been edged out of his spot as her partner to make room for her current interest. Since the two of them got together he was ever faster feeling like he was the third wheel to _their _great partnership. Would he say it was jealously that was making him think these thoughts, hell yeah he would. One released novel, with a second coming shortly, and over a year later he had thought he had more than proven himself to the extraordinary Kate Beckett, in fact she had even said on more than one occasion that he was useful and she was glad he was around. Instead here he stood in the break room watching as the two of them were in the midst of building theory and discussing potential scenarios in front of the murder board.

Castle didn't forget how, not only a few weeks ago, it was Beckett complaining to him about how building theory was something they did and that she was a bit upset he did it with Special Agent Shaw. Talk about calling the kettle black. Only a moment ago the three of them were discussing their current case, a murder of a forty five year old single woman, when he had been dismissed to the break room. There he was standing with the two of them weaving one of his tales, which MANY people paid to read by the way, about how such a mid aged woman could have been in the wrong place at the wrong time when everything went to pot. Tom Terrific had let out a short bark of a laugh shaking his head at the apparent absurdity of what he was saying. Tom was new though so that really hadn't bothered him much, no it was Kate that topped off the situation. After seeing Tom's little outburst of mirth she had decided to follow it up with a condescending dismissal, "This isn't fiction Castle go get us some coffee while you return both feet to reality."

So here he was watching the two of them after making _only_ _one_ cup of coffee, designated to the sidelines and being all but useless while the two of them continued on like they hadn't just snubbed him. Maybe he was being to judgmental of the situation, and maybe Kate just had to find her balance, granted it had been a few days since the case started and this was another of many such instances, but still he was fairly confident she hadn't completely forgotten him.

Just as Castle was pulling himself together and ready to make another run at the murder board, being more cautious this time of course, Ryan got off the phone. "We got a lead on a few suspect off the corner of Fifth and Lexington, apparently she frequently took classes at a gym downtown around this time," he informed them grabbing his jacket.

Spirits lifted at the impending field trip Castle put down his coffee went to retrieve his coat and crowded in the elevator with the rest of the detectives. Granted he had to almost force his way in after Kate and her "partner" occupied the front, much to the amusement of Ryan and Esposito in the back, but he still made the elevator. Traveling down to the parking garage he exited along with the rest heading towards the squad cars.

"Kate we can take my car you drive," Tom said throwing her his keys as they, followed by Castle, took a left as Ryan and Esposito headed in the opposite direction. Coming up to Tom's car Castle immediately noticed a very large glaring problem. Tom drove an old Ford Mustang with bucket seats which meant NO back seats, and unless he sat in Tom's lap he wasn't going to fit.

Apparently Kate and Tom didn't recognize the problem as they both entered the car leaving him standing outside by himself. Starting the car Kate eventually looked up seeing him standing there, "Sorry Castle no room, hitch a ride with Ryan and Esposito they should be by in a sec."

Deflecting his hurt with humor he bantered back, "No worry Detective I didn't really want to sit on Tom's lap anyway." That statement earned him a headshake between the two in the car and seconds later they were peeling away out of the parking garage towards the Gym.

Turning to head in the direction Ryan and Esposito went he took three steps when he noticed that they were already out of their spot and heading towards the exit on the opposite side of the garage from them. Taking off in a run to catch them he saw them exit the garage as he picked up speed. Only a handful of seconds had to elapse as he, in a dead sprint now, ran out the exit quickly scanning to the left and the right. Unfortunately New York traffic was not on his side this day as he saw them rounding a turn and quickly breezing out of sight.

"Just great," Castle muttered to himself not only had he been kicked out of his spot in shotgun with Beckett, but he had been kicked completely out of the car as well. To top it off Ryan and Esposito had left without even knowing that he didn't have a ride to the scene. Figuring he could call them and get them to turn around he really didn't think his pride could handle the explanation so reluctantly he raised his hand to hail a cab hoping that he could not only find the place, but also get there before the four detectives were done canvassing it.

Forty minutes later, since it took him fifteen minutes to hail a cab, Castle finally arrived at the front doors of the gym. As time went on he really was feeling more and more like an intruder in their case not even receiving a single call asking where he was and why he hadn't shown up. Entering the Gym he didn't see any familiar faces so he started to head towards the back.

"I'm sorry can I help you?" a very large and well built man asked from the check in desk.

"Yeah sorry about that I am here with the NYPD I am sure you saw four detectives walk by earlier," Castle quickly explained hoping that the guy would just wave him past so he wouldn't miss anything.

"Can I see some identification?"

"Umm I'm not actually a cop I'm a consultant so I really don't have anything to show you. I am shadowing Detective Beckett I'm Richard Castle author of Heat Wave. Didn't anyone leave a note saying I was coming?" great on top of being late to the scene now he was reduced to trying to talk his way in so he could even see what was going on.

"Is that a comic or something? I am sorry Sir but this is a private club and unless you are a member or have the proper identification I can't let you pass, and I haven't been given any word to expect someone," ok apparently this guy wasn't much into reading, or any other types of mental stimulation based on his looks, it also didn't help that Castle was most assuredly forgotten.

Sighing in defeat he flipped open his phone only to see he had no service which prompted him to walk outside to make his call. Three calls later and three straight voicemails he realized that he wasn't going to be able to get one of them to come let him in. Typical he couldn't get in and now none of them had a signal to boot his day was really just getting worse and worse. Realizing there was no way he was going to be able to get past the incredible hulk short of buying a lifetime membership to the gym he sat down to wait for them.

Several magazine and thirty minutes later the four detectives finally returned to the reception area with Ryan and Esposito coming from one way, and Kate and Tom coming from the opposite side. Both upon seeing him sitting with a magazine stopped and looked at the other group.

"We thought he was with you," Kate said towards Ryan and Esposito clearly confused at the sight of Castle waiting on a bench.

"Why would your shadow be with us? We assumed he was with you like he always is," Esposito shot right back which was a good point by the way since he never went with the two guys when Beckett was around. Castle wasn't writing books based on them after all even though they had small parts.

Deciding he didn't want them talking over his head like a five year old he decided to enter the conversation, "Actually after you left me in the parking garage Detective I went to try and hitch a ride with Esposito and Ryan but they had already left. Since I didn't want to make them turn around I took a cab. Forty five minutes later after managing to make my own way here I find I can't actually get in without a membership or a police ID, and that no one left word with the desk that I was coming. So I have been sitting here waiting for thirty minutes since there isn't service in this place hoping someone would come to let me in so I can actually do what I came here to do." Now that he had said it all he realized it really sounded just as bad as he thought it did.

Now Castle never took pleasure in another person's discomfort as a general rule of thumb, but he couldn't help but feel a sense of satisfaction at seeing the look of guilt on Kate's face. After all she was the reason he just wasted about an hour and a half doing nothing. As she apologized and they all headed back to the precinct, with him riding in the criminal cage of Ryan and Esposito's cruiser how wonderful, his sense of satisfaction quickly dissolved when he came to the realization that Kate hadn't even thought of him and that while her feeling of a guilt was a small victory it was a hollow one. He just hoped that she would snap out of her haze and actually realize he was around before the case was over.

**(BREAK)**

A few days later Castle was feeling a bit better about the entire situation. Needless to say Kate made sure to take her car instead of Tom's so they wouldn't have the same mix up again, even though he had to ride in the back. Apparently his opinion was also worth being valued again as he contributed in their discussion of theory while studying the murder board. Contributed he guessed was a bit of an exaggeration since he felt more like he was being indulged at the moment, especially when he disagreed with Tom Terrific.

"I am telling you her trainer can't be our guy, it just doesn't make sense," Castle argued towards Tom who was his current opposition.

"Why do you think that he is innocent even though we have evidence suggesting otherwise?" Tom shot right back clearly annoyed by the author disagreeing with him.

"Why would her trainer of seven years suddenly snap and shoot her in her own apartment? I would never write it that way," he argued back not understanding how Tom would connect such an impersonal means of murder with a man who not only relished in his physical fitness, but also had a very personal connection to their victim.

"Well if you wouldn't write it like that he obviously can't be our guy. He had motive that was clear to see when we interviewed him. She had filed complaints about him to the gym and it would be easy enough for him to have seen who was having a problem with him. Apparently you missed out on that fact when you were busy sitting in the lobby because you couldn't get in," Tom finished with a smug smile. Ok it was official the thing he said about this guy being nice just got crossed off his list.

Turning knowing he would find support in Kate, Castle began. "Kate think about it why would a guy who is…" was all he managed to get out before he was interrupted.

"Tom's right Castle we see these things all the time you didn't witness the interview, and I agree that he probably knows who filed the complaints and it upset him," she cut him off clearly showing what side she took in the argument.

About to start in on another more detailed explanation of why they were wrong Esposito walked up before he could start.

"Beckett we got the Vic's yoga partner who wasn't there earlier in the interrogation room when you guys are ready to talk to her," Esposito said before heading away to converse with Ryan.

Grabbing a file Kate headed towards the room with Tom and Castle in her wake. Just as they were about to enter the room Tom held his hand in front of Castle stopping him outside the door.

"Whoa there buddy detectives only and unless you have a badge and a gun I haven't seen you can watch from the other side of the glass it's the rules," Tom Terrific stated as if reading from the manual.

"I always go in with Beckett when we question people," Rick stated a bit peeved this guy would try and stop him, he wasn't the one being shadowed Beckett was and it was her call.

"He's right Castle you shouldn't be in there since you're a civilian, and besides it would be too crowded with three of us in there," Kate said without giving him a second glance as she walked in with Tom following closely behind.

Entering the observation room Castle was officially pissed only half paying attention to what was going happening on the other side of the glass. He had understood that she was trying to build a relationship with Tom, and even though he was a bit jealous he was very supportive of the matter. As he became a third wheel to the pair of them he shrugged it off as her trying to find the balance and being excited by their new team member. Now it was quickly becoming clear that he was just being indulged like he was the right after he signed his waiver, he was the writer shadow that didn't have any right to be there and they were the detectives doing the real work. So much for him making the cases more fun or him actually being "surprisingly useful" it was hard to be useful when nothing he said was being listened to.

Just then a comment made on the other end of the glass caught his attention and he found himself hanging on each word of the interrogation. About fifteen minutes later he heard them wrapping up and he quickly exited the door to way for Kate to exit. As soon as she exited he metaphorically ambushed her, his anger forgotten in his excitement.

"It couldn't be the trainer I know who did it now!" Castle exclaimed sounding like a kid who couldn't wait to show his mom an A on a school paper.

"Yes the trainer her friend basically just verified that for us, which you should know if you were listening," Tom said coming out of the room behind Kate.

"Still with the trainer thing you know you really have to stop being so stubborn it doesn't help the whole _detecting _process," Castle shot right back to high on his revelation to be brought down by Tom's remarks.

"Castle were you not listening she basically fingered the guy the case is closed I know you want to help, but stupid theories aren't what we need right now. You want to help get us some coffee and wait by my desk for me and Tom," Beckett said to him clearly annoyed.

In an instant Castle felt like he was just punched in the gut by a prize fighter. Never had Kate been so utterly short with him, and she had _never_ refused to listen to one of his ideas before. Sure she would shoot some of them down as childish or outlandish, but she always listened before passing judgment. Castle would be the first to admit he could be a pain and sometimes got the team off track, but he always felt like he was capable of contributing and on numerous occasions was commended by the detectives for doing just that. Now he was being treated more of as a child instead of as an equal and it made his blood boil.

"Fine _Detective_ I can see you made up your mind," he said knowing he couldn't keep the fury out of his voice completely. Kate though didn't seem to notice just nodding her head and turned to discuss something with Tom.

Barely able to keep himself from causing a scene he turned tightly and headed towards her desk seeing Ryan and Esposito staring at him with looks of sympathy. Walking towards Kate's desk he grabbed a piece of her stationary and began to write as Ryan and Esposito walked up to him.

"Bro, we just want to let you know we see what she's doing and it's not right man," Esposito stated.

"Yeah while she may be getting all cozy with the flavor of the month man we still like having you around and are willing to listen to what you have to say no matter how dumb it sounds," Ryan chimed in with support.

Castle having finished what he wrote folded it in half and slid it in between the keys of Kate's keyboard so it was standing up. Looking at the two detectives a small grin found a way to his face, "Thanks guys I know you have my back no matter what. I'm going to leave, apparently I can't actually help so I might as well get out of her hair."

With a fist bump to each of his friends he turned around and headed towards the elevator. As he passed the two detectives by the murder board he saw them leaning close laughing over something completely oblivious to the fact they were about to accuse an innocent man. As he stepped into the elevator he saw Kate looking at him past Tom's head with a questioning look in her eyes. Squashing what hope he might feel at her gaze he locked eyes with her, and without looking away he reached down and hit the button closing the doors of the elevator.

**(BREAK)**

Kate had been thrilled with her team's most recent case because it included Detective Tom Demming. Kate had met Tom during a sparring session and the two had hit it off right away, to say there was chemistry between the two of them was an understatement. Tom was assigned to assist their recent case since he was new to the department and had not been assigned a team himself yet. Working with him had turned out to be quite an interesting opportunity to get a better insight into the man.

Tom had been a huge help and Kate had learned that behind his good looks there was also a very intelligent mind, a playful flirtatious side, a sweet guy, and to top it off one good detective. Tom was a lot like her, a by the book kind of cop that she could relate to who thought in a very systematic way. While the two of them seemed to click right away when they first met, they really meshed on a case, often seeing the same things and coming to the same conclusions without having to speak almost. Working with him was a stark contrast to working with Castle.

Speaking of Castle she hadn't seen him since she noticed he went home early. Castle was a big boy though so she really wasn't worried about him. True she did feel some guilt over leaving him in the parking garage of few days ago and having left him waiting in the gym lobby as they questioned suspects, but that had been an honest mistake. She was trying to get to know Tom and she didn't have time to babysit Castle with a new officer on the team, if he couldn't deal with that he could sulk somewhere else. Castle's theories had started grating on her as time went on.

Normally the yarns he spun were quite amusing, but with Tom around she started to see them like he did, as annoyances. Finding killers was a serious business and there wasn't time to take breaks every now and then to listen to some overgrown child tell some fanciful tale of how someone could have possibly been murdered. Detective work was based in cold hard fact and having Tom around, a man who saw things like she did, just drove that point home further. Castle had his uses but during this case his uses were hindering more than helping.

Then again he did rightly claim that the trainer was not their killer which brought her to the present. Tom and Kate were sitting stumped in front of the murder board staring at it as they tried to find out exactly who could have done it. Previously, both had come to the conclusion of the trainer being the man who held the smoking gun, but after further inquiry they had discovered that he had an alibi, albeit an illegal one. Apparently the Vic's trainer doubled as a high class male prostitute and was with a woman the night their Vic was killed until about five in the morning. Initially he had claimed he was home asleep which prompted her and Tom to believe it was him, but under pressure of being possibly guilty he had cracked and told the truth. Following through with his client, and security footage of her apartment complex had confirmed that he was not their man.

That left them back at square one and somehow Castle had seen it the entire time. She vaguely remembered him mentioning something as they exited the interrogation room around noon that day, but she couldn't really remember anything besides him trying to feed them another story. Kate was tempted to call him, but she figured if he knew something important he wouldn't have left early and would have definitely told her about it. So here she was about six hours later with her and Tom having nothing to go on both having come to the same dead end. Ryan and Esposito had left with Knicks tickets and she wasn't about to pull them away from a night they had both looked forward to for weeks. She had tried bouncing ideas off Tom but he was so similar in thought they didn't actually create anything new.

Sighing in defeat she looked at Tom, "I am out of ideas how about we call it a night and see if we can think of anything tomorrow."

Tom hearing this snapped out of his own thoughts and a smile formed on his face, "Sounds like a good idea to me. I'm starving how about we grab some dinner?"

Nodding her head Kate was glad for the invitation, "Let me grab my coat," she said as she headed towards her desk. It was funny she just realized she hadn't been to her desk since she got in today.

Once she got to her desk and grabbed her coat she noticed a note folded in half tucked into her keyboard with Detective Beckett scrawled on the front in Castle's handwriting. Sighing at another one of his childish antics and giving Tom a look as if to say how typical she opened it figuring it was some small dumb thing. Giving it a quick glance she studied it closer once realizing it was a serious letter and not something immature.

_Detective Beckett:_

_Since you apparently did not deem my opinion very worthwhile during this case I decided that a written letter would be more successful in garnering your attention. Specifically, I want to address the identity of the killer of our victim. I understand that you and Detective Demming believe it to by the personal trainer, but however you are both wrong. Our trainer had an intimate connection to our victim and combining that with his sense of pride in his physical stature a more personal method such as strangulation would fit the cause of death if he was the guilty party._

_Your notes indicate (which I trust since I was not present) the yoga teacher claimed he did not know the victim outside of class, but her yoga partner claims she took private classes with him. Plainly one of the two is lying and at this point I cannot be certain. If I was writing the story I would have the yoga instructor have a physical obsession with our victim and after a rebuff in the privacy of her home he returned later to exact vengeance, but that is just my stupid theory and probably wrong. Good luck finding the killer._

_Richard Castle_

Kate was stunned and had to reread the note over again not breathing the entire time. Castle had written this note before he left over six hours ago. Between now and then her and Tom had ran into dead end after dead end without any success, and the entire time her possible answer was waiting for her right on her desk. Over and over she had brushed Castle off thinking that he was just seeking attention now that Tom was on the team, but in reality he had been trying to help solve the case.

Just then with absolute clarity the image of Castle standing in the elevator leaving flashed through her head. Instead of seeing a sulking man upset because he wasn't getting any attention she interpreted the true meaning behind his gaze, fury. Castle had left furious with her… O God what had she done?

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**Next time Kate tracks down Castle to have a chat.**

**Like it? Review it**


	2. Revelation

Well here is the second and last chapter of this particluar story I hope everyone likes it. I must say this one was very fun to write, but once again it has not been betaed so there may be mistakes. Now writing this I did the part after the break to music, and I recommend listening to some while you read to set the mood. I recommend YouTubing "Expression" by Helen Jane Long. You'll understand what I mean when you get to that part of the story. I want to thank everyone for reviewing it really means a lot to read what you guys write.

Once again I do not own Castle nor any of its characters/storylines/properties

Enjoy!

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Around an hour after Kate read Castle's note, once they had brought the Vic's yoga instructor in, the case was wrapped up. Between Tom and Kate it took only about ten minutes of grilling the guy before he cracked. Apparently he had been infatuated with their Vic and became overjoyed at the prospect of a private lesson which had led to a sexual tryst. Unfortunately for the instructor their Vic was only looking for a casual relationship and when the instructor had tried to become more formal she had cut him loose. From that point on it had just spiraled out of control until she had cut off all contact. Four days later his obsession had gained control of him and he had shot her out of passion. More importantly to Kate was that Castle was right the entire time.

Somehow without even meeting the yoga instructor, and purely going over her notes on the interview, Castle had single handedly come up with not only the killer, but he also accurately pinpointed the man's motivation. Castle solving the case where she was stumped was not what bothered her, what did bother her was that she hadn't even participated in his process and instead had impeded him at every turn.

Kate had been torn between immediately finding Castle and finishing the case ultimately deciding to wrap the case up as fast as possible. Now that it was over she had to find Castle to apologize for brushing him off when he was trying to help and to find out exactly why he had such a look of anger on his face as he left.

Just as she was packing up her things and shrugging into her coat Tom came over with a large smile on his face. "Well it looks like we make a pretty good team. I knew if we kept at it we would be able to get the right guy. Now how about we grab that dinner?" he said with a tone of satisfaction.

Kate was a bit taken aback by that statement, especially considering they hadn't solved a thing Castle had. "We just booked him we didn't solve a thing. I can't go, I have to find Castle and figure out how he solved it and why he didn't tell us. Maybe some other time Tom," Kate said quickly hurrying towards the exit saying the last sentence over her shoulder as she pulled out her phone.

Once in the elevator she quickly dialed Castle's number and to her dismay got bounced to voicemail without it even ringing. Figuring that maybe he was home she tried his house phone next surprised by who answered.

"Hello," Alexis' voice chimed on the other end.

"Hi Alexis its Kate is your dad home?" she asked.

"No actually he left about three hours ago when Gram's after show party started," Alexis informed her. Damn she had missed him.

"Do you know where he went by any chance?" she asked hoping that Alexis would have an answer.

"O yea he said his publisher needed a couple of chapters revised by tomorrow so he went to our house in the Hamptons to have some peace and quiet. He said you guys wrapped up the case early so that's why he came home. Why is something wrong, he seemed fine when he left?" Alexis questioned unsure of why Kate was even asking.

Having too much respect for Alexis to lie Kate confessed, "Actually _he_ wrapped up the case early today and it took me until now to catch up. I may have gotten short with him earlier and I want to apologize but since his phone is off I can't get a hold of him and I was wondering if you knew where he was."

"Sure you have a pen?" and with that Alexis rattled off an address that Kate quickly took down as she walked to her car.

"Thanks Alexis you're the best," she said feeling her heart getting a little lighter at knowing where Castle was and that she would work everything out soon.

**(BREAK)**

Pulling up at a house Kate double checked the address to make sure it was Castle's. After making sure she began walking up to the door. Kate had no idea what she planned on saying, or even how she was going to say it. All she knew was that she had to talk to Castle to not only find out why he left upset, but to also apologize for brushing him off earlier today.

Standing in front of the door she took a deep breath and rung the bell. One minute went by, then two and still nothing. Knocking loudly produced similar results. Thinking that maybe she took down the wrong address she grabbed her phone and redialed Alexis' number. It was only ten Alexis hopefully wasn't asleep.

"Hey Kate," Alexis's voice said on the other end, "You find the place ok?"

"Yea Alexis I am just double checking the address are you sure you gave me the right, one no one is answering," Kate explained.

"Does it have a red door, big tree in the front with a tire swing?" Alexis asked to which Kate responded in the affirmative. "Yea that's the place maybe he stepped out to grab something there is a spare key in the flower pot to the left of the door let yourself in till he gets back."

"Are you sure? I don't want to intrude, I mean I need to talk to him but what if he's asleep?" Kate asked losing some of her nerve when she realized she would have to enter uninvited.

"Kate trust me he won't care. Just grab the key and get in the door I have to go to sleep sometime," Alexis teased hearing and knowing Kate's apprehension.

Sighing in defeat Kate found the key and opened the door. As soon as she swung the door open she heard music emanating from somewhere in the house, more specifically it was coming from a piano. Sorrow would have been an understatement to the tone of the song being played, Kate felt like her heart was being broken just listening to the heart wrenching sounds. It was absolutely beautiful, but at the same time tear jerking, she had never heard something with so much feeling before.

"Umm Kate is that Piano music? Maybe you should go home" Alexis said with hesitation and nervousness in her voice.

"Yea whats wrong Alexis?" Kate asked not sure why Alexis would have such a mood swing from playful to hesitant in such a short time.

"Dad's killing someone," was Alexis' shocking response.

Completely taken off guard by that statement Kate was left for speechless, Richard Castle famed author was killing someone? Before her imagination could get the better of her Alexis clarified, "I mean he is killing a character of his. Dad always plays the piano when he writes a death scene for a character. Usually he does it at home and it doesn't take more than a few minutes, but not always. Sometimes… sometimes when he really likes a character or he has a connection to them he goes to that house by himself and plays the piano for hours as he writes the scene out. He has only done it a few times with the last being Derek Storm. I… I cried the first time he did it at home hearing how he played and he hasn't done it here since." Alexis whispered almost on the brink of tears even though she wasn't there.

Kate herself was feeling a lump in her throat from the pure feeling of anguish that was floating on the air in the form of music. She wanted to do nothing more than curl up and cry because she knew that for her to feel that feeling meant that Castle was feeling something even worse as he played. Kate couldn't let Alexis down though and she couldn't let Castle stay this way.

"Alexis sweetie I'm not going to let him go through this alone, I will take care of him don't worry about a thing. This is my fault I think and it's up to me to fix it so you go back to sleep and I will have him back to his annoying self tomorrow," she promised hoping she sounded more convincing than she felt, it was just… that music… it was so laced with pain.

"Ok Kate I trust you bring him back to me with a smile please. I'll try and get some sleep," and with a sniffle and a brighter tone in her voice Alexis hung up.

Closing the door Kate felt like she was a fish on dry land, completely out of her element. This entire house, this entire situation was so unlike Castle that she had no idea what to do or how to even begin. Squaring her shoulder's she reminded herself she was a NYPD homicide detective and that she would be damned if she backed down when someone needed her. Besides Castle had always been there for her even when she didn't want him and there was no way she was going skip repaying that huge favor when he needed it in return.

Walking towards the music each step she took became slightly harder as each note that filled the air weighed heavier and heavier on her shoulders. Finally she entered the room where she saw Castle sitting behind a grand piano with a pad of paper on the top alongside a glass and open bottle of wine. An eerie fire glowing in the corner of the room threw off the only light in the entire house.

There Castle sat those eyes that had bore into her hours ago closed as his head moved in tune with what his hands created as they danced along the keys. With the light playing on the side of his face Kate stopped to study him becoming completely enthralled at a completely different facet of the man that she thought she knew so well. What was even worse was the feeling in the pit of her stomach that she had somehow driven him to this state that he was in.

Interrupting her musings Castle's eyes opened and he fixed her with a piercing glare that she didn't even know he was capable of. For the first time that she could ever remember in his presence Kate felt fear tingle up her spine at his gaze.

"Can I help you _Detective_?" Castle asked making it sound more like a insult than an actual title.

"I got your note," god how did she even start she didn't know what to say because she really didn't even know what she had done.

Nodding his head his eyes once again closed as he shifted into another song just as heart wrenching as the last. "I figured you would eventually notice, I hope it was helpful, but I imagine the two of you solved it well before then." Bitterness and malice laced his voice in a way that she had never heard before, even when they discussed the most cruel and vile killers they had ever seen.

"Actually we were at a dead end until I found it… You were right even about the motive we just finished booking him about an hour ago. I… uh… came here as soon as it was done," she said nervous and completely caught off guard by the entire situation she found herself in.

"Congratulations _Detective _I am glad you got your man," he said still practically spitting out her title and refusing to actually refer to her by name. Something about that one sentence made it seem as if he were referring to more than the killer.

"Castle I need to talk to you about today I…." she began.

Not even giving her time to finish Castle cut her off, "Welcome to my home _Detective_; or as Alexis so lovingly calls it the 'Mortuary'. I have written some of my best work here, I still do when the occasion calls for it." Taking a pause from playing he grabbed the pen and wrote with exceeding care on the pad before resuming where he had left off on the piano.

"I suppose a congratulations is order many people have seen me write but very few have seen how I write the most important scenes in my book," he continued. "I always found writing a murder scene on a computer was a bit too impersonal. I am currently in the middle of something quite pivotal, feel free to stay if you want. I only ask that you don't try and distract me with stupid theories, after all I am working." With that sentence he locked eyes with her clearly restating the exact words she had said earlier that day.

Once again his eyes closed and the music increased in volume and somehow reached a new level of feeling. Hearing him and seeing him sitting there pouring his heart out on the keys brought a tear to Kate's eyes. God what had she done and how did she fix it.

"Who are you killing?" she asked hoping to get an insight into what he was feeling by what he was doing.

"Rook," he whispered in a hushed voice as if saying that name aloud would spoil the great ending that was brewing in his mind.

Another tear fell from her eyes at his statement. Rook… oh God Castle was killing himself off in _their_ story what did that mean for them? Nikki Heat and Jameson Rook were their alter egos and if he was getting rid of Rook did that mean he would stay with her outside of the novel, or was he writing himself out in the book as a prelude to reality?

"Why?" she asked in a shaky whisper needing to understanding, needing to know what was the cause.

"Nikki doesn't really need him anymore. I am writing her a new partner, another cop, someone that is more to _her approval_," was his response.

"What did I do? How do I fix it?" Hell with referring to themselves through their characters she needed to know what was wrong.

"Are you really so blind to your own actions?" he asked once again opening his eyes to look at her.

"Please Castle I know I brushed you off but I am sorry. I didn't think… I should have listened," she said her voice slightly breaking with each word.

"How many times have I been there for you Kate? How many times have I helped you when you needed it? I entrusted my life to you when my only defense was a champagne bottle, I ran into a burning building in absolute terror that you were gone, I have done nothing but care with all I have," Castle said not breaking her gaze letting his emotions shine through his eyes as brightly as a light tower during a storm.

"Apparently it didn't mean much to you if it only took one case and one new face to forget all of that. I didn't care that you were trying to start a relationship, I didn't even care that you got caught up with working with him," as Castle spoke his words gaining a slight edge to them with each word.

Then closing his eyes he whispered, "You tossed me aside and treated me like I didn't have any importance, like I was simple a hindrance to _your_ investigation. Never before have you dismissed me like that , you wouldn't even listen to what I had to say cutting me off before I could get more than a few words out of my mouth. That hurt Kate it still hurts, and it's the sign that lets me know you don't need me anymore."

Feeling her legs turn to jelly Kate collapsed on the floor freely letting tears run down her cheeks as she remembered in vivid detail everything she had done to him. Events of the past flashed through her head, of him taking her to Remy's, paying to find her mother's killer without a second thought, staying in her living room to protect her, running into her burning bathroom in distress, saving her life as she stared down the barrel of her own gun with a psycho on the other end, asking her to care for his daughter if anything happened, even opening his very home for her.

Every single endearing image just caused the next set to hurt even worse. Her leaving him standing in the garage, her calling his theories fanciful as she ordered him off to get coffee like an errand boy, building theory with Tom as he stood in the background clearly feeling unwanted, humoring him like a child as he tried to help solve the case, ordering him to wait outside the interrogation room, and finally cutting him off as he was in the middle of telling her his case solving revelation.

God help her, Castle was her partner by her own admission and she had treated him like he was beneath her. Kate got so caught up in Tom and her attraction to him that she didn't see she was pushing away one of the most important people in her life. Esposito, Ryan, Montgomery, and Lanie were all like family, but Castle… Castle went above and beyond that of a friend putting her safety and interests before his very own.

Castle was right, she truly was blind and had been blind to the amount of pain she was causing the man that was probably her dearest friend. Kate had confided in him more than any other person and he had never taken it for granted, never breathed a word no matter how much power in their relationship it would have given them. In return Kate had shunned, mocked, embarrassed, and degraded him without a second thought. All because she had found someone she deemed safe to show her feelings to, and as she sat crying she realized the truth.

Kate was attracted to Tom because he was safe, a cop like her he thought like her they got along great he _was safe_. Kate knew she could be with him and he would never push her boundaries, never challenge her to overcome that which she didn't want to. Tom was safe but now sitting here listening to Castle manifest his feelings into absolutely heart wrenching music Kate finally understood. She didn't want safe, she didn't need safe anymore, she needed a risk. Lord help her she needed Rick like she needed the very air she breathed.

For so long she had never wanted to ever move outside of her comfort zone. Then Castle came along and forcefully pushed her out and she had went willingly without a second thought. Kate had lived, she had actually lived her life with him by her side. Joy returned to her hollow existence and she almost threw all of the away for some stranger she had barely known for a week because she was to afraid to admit how she really felt.

No more hiding, no more being afraid she vowed that very instant. She had made a promise to Alexis and she would be damned if she let her down. More importantly she was tired of her life of not taking risks and always glimpsing but never achieving happiness. That ended today, it ended now!

Rising to her feet tears still falling from her eyes she took one step towards Rick, then another. Almost as if in a dream she found herself walking towards him, but her eyes were not on him they were locked on his work. Reaching she grabbed his note pad in hand, her movement causing his eyes to snap open in surprise at her actions and proximity. With long strides she found herself in front of the roaring fire, and with a yell to release her emotions she threw his work into the blaze bringing an end to Castle's playing and a silence to the room.

Gone were his words of Rook leaving Heat, gone were his ideas for killing a character that reflected him, but most importantly gone were his words of him leaving her. Whirling on him gaining strength with each second the music was absent from the room, almost as if the very sound of it had sapped her strength, she returned to him long legs swiftly closing the distance.

Grabbing him by the lapels of his shirt she brought his face close to hers and she let him have it, "Bullshit! Don't you dare say I don't need you Castle don't you dare! Without you I would be lost, without you I would be a shell going through the motions of living! Dammit Castle I screwed and up I'm sorry, God am I sorry for what I did. But you know what I am glad because I did if I hadn't I wouldn't have realized that I… that I… THAT I LOVE YOU!!"

Stunned silence followed as tears continued to run down her cheeks and fall onto the floor between them. Castle had a look of surprise in his eyes, but slowly the mask of anger and indifference he had worn since her arrival began to crack. Gone was the anger, hate, bitterness, and hurt. What replaced it was a sight that caused the tears to increase two fold in Kate's eyes.

Slowly tears began to glisten in Castle's eyes mirroring her own, his mask shattered and a look of complete awe replaced it. In a voice that was so soft she had to strain to hear it, almost as if he thought it being heard would wake him from a dream, he asked, "You love me?"

Nodding her head she said, "God help me but I do Rick, and I think I have for quite awhile."

Hearing her reaffirm her confession the dam holding back his tears burst and soon he had tears as plentiful as her own falling to mix with hers on the floor between them. Without warning he lunged forward and brought his mouth to hers in a kiss that seared them both to their very souls. It was like nothing either had experienced before, akin to lightening striking it was breathtaking and soul shattering all at once, Kate felt her toes lift in her shoes and her legs shake threatening to lose their strength.

Pulling back in desperate need of oxygen they stood their panting, their foreheads resting against one another. "I have dreamed of it a thousand nights but never thought I would hear those words," Castle said his voice heavy with emotion. "I love you _Kate_ and God is going to have to help us both because I think I have longer than you," Castle professed saying her name in a manner that it reminded her of a sweet caress.

"God I love that sound," she confessed safe in the knowledge that once again anything she said would be guarded by him like the very ending to one of his books. "Just tell me one thing," she prompted.

"Anything you name it," he responded with a look of love in his eyes that took her breath away.

"Where did you learn to play like that?" she asked innocently with a small smile on her face.

Hearing her question he blinked in surprise before bursting out in peals of laughter that were loud enough to echo throughout the entire house. Rick laughed until his side hurt as Kate caught up in his mirth laughed right alongside him.

Once their laughter began to die down he hugged her tightly against him burying his head into her hair, they were a perfect fit.

"Welcome back Kate," he said holding her tight.

"I never left Rick. I was just Losing Focus."

**FIN**


End file.
